


Only You

by xxfergiexx



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drama, Friendship/Love, M/M, Romance, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-28
Updated: 2012-02-28
Packaged: 2017-11-18 20:42:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/565075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxfergiexx/pseuds/xxfergiexx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Changmin was always curious, now he wants more....</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [evangellie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/evangellie/gifts), [Critztalinz](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Critztalinz).



  
[](http://pics.livejournal.com/xxfergiexx/pic/0008ee5p/)[](http://pics.livejournal.com/xxfergiexx/pic/0008dgty/)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
College life really sucks sometimes. And Changmin isn’t referring to the endless papers he has to write on a weekly basis or the grueling exams to study for. No, he’s referring to the relentless drama that seems to follow him everywhere he goes. And by drama, he means girls. What troublesome creatures they are! Girls are needy, whiney, clingy, moody, demanding, conniving beings who only strive to make his life miserable.  
  
  
  
  
At the moment, Changmin is leaving Kyuhyun house party with Victoria and Jessica, two girls who have been flirting with him for weeks now and finally worked up to the courage to drink themselves to a stupor and latch themselves onto his arms. And that’s only after he narrowly misses a fist fight with their ex-boyfriends at the party. Changmin isn’t sure how their girlfirends…no, I’m sorry, EX-girlfriends, being sluts has anything to do with him.  
  
  
  
  
Like he said, girls are troublesome creatures.  
  
  
  
  
Well, he really couldn’t blame these girls. It’s not like he did anything to discourage the attention…but then again, he’s never denied being a bit of a man-whore.  
  
  
  
  
Changmin had attended an all-boys private primary and secondary school while living at home. Therefore, college is like a breath of free air for him. Seoul University is crawling with horny girls, and Changmin is more than happy to satisfy their appetite.  
  
  
  
  
He is very careful with his promiscuity, always wearing protection and getting checked by his doctor, but his father disapproves of his behavior and constantly lectures him…  
  
  
  
  
“Son - that kind of lifestyle gets old quickly, and if you keep it up, you’ll find yourself emotionally empty.”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin doesn’t feel empty but he’s certainly getting bored. It’s always the same insipid debutantes who can’t hold their liquor and bleed him dry with their demands and expectations.  
  
  
  
  
Now he has Jessica and Victoria clinging to each of his arms while looking for his designated driver. Knowing Changmin would most likely drink a lot at any party, his very Christian, non-drinking roommate Siwon, who is also friends with Kyuhyun, usually opts to tag along. He really appreciates Siwon’s nice gesture now considering Kyuhyun’s house is out in the country where it’s hard to catch a taxi.  
  
  
  
  
Looking up and down the porch of the house, Changmin spots Siwon leaning on the railing with his arms around another boy, Jung Yunho…Siwon’s college sweetheart boyfriend.  
  
  
  
  
He huffs in annoyance as he approaches the couple. Every time he sees those two all over each other, which has been the case ever since Siwon introduced Yunho as his boyfriend two years ago, he feels a twinge of irritation and he doesn’t know why.  
  
  
  
  
He never told Siwon that he had known Yunho since elementary school. Never told him how much they couldn’t stand each other for the longest time before they somehow became best friends. Never told him about that one day Yunho left him…  
  
  
  
  
\--------------  
  
  
  
  
_One warm summer day, Changmin was sitting with Yunho on the bridge near their private school, their legs dangling over the edge, hovering above the river.  
  
  
  
  
On any normal day, Yunho talked Changmin to death with his incessant chatter, but today his friend was unusually quiet.  
  
  
  
  
“Yunho? Are you okay?” He asked.  
  
  
  
  
He got no response as Yunho continued gazing off into the distance with a sad look on his face. Changmin grew concerned, so he put a hand to Yunho’s shoulder to get his attention.  
  
  
  
  
“Yunho?”  
  
  
  
  
His friend sighed and leaned into his touch. “I have to leave.”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin frowned. “What, now? We just got here! I wanted to tell you how I shoved Junsu inside a locker today.”  
  
  
  
  
That instigated a small smile from Yunho. “You’re such a bully, Min.”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin smirked. “It’s not bullying when he asked for it.”  
  
  
  
  
“What he’d do?”  
  
  
  
  
“Laughed that annoying laugh of his too loudly.”  
  
  
  
  
This made Yunho chuckle. Now, this laugh Changmin didn’t find annoying at all. In fact, every time Yunho laughed, his heart warmed and he couldn’t help but laugh right along with him.  
  
  
  
  
It seemed his friend was back to his normal self as the conversation led to their other friends and asshole teachers, and then about their families.  
  
  
  
  
“My father’s been urging me to pick a major,” Changmin said nonchalantly, leaning back to recline on the bridge. “I keep telling him I’m still only 16 and college is like two years away but he won’t listen.”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho got quiet again at this statement. Changmin turned his head to see the other boy staring off again. He left him in peace for a few minutes before grabbing his arm and pulling him down beside him.  
  
  
  
  
Startled, Yunho twisted away. “I have to leave.” He repeated from earlier.  
  
  
  
  
Changmin nodded. “Okay. Let’s get back to the dorms…it’s almost dinner time anyway.”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho shook his head. “No. I mean I have to leave school…I’m dropping out tomorrow.”  
  
  
  
  
There was a beat of awkward silence then Changmin asked incredulously, “You’re joking, right?”  
  
  
  
  
“I wish I was,” Yunho mumbled.  
  
  
  
  
“How – I mean, why? I don’t understand.”  
  
  
  
  
The other boy, still looking away, responded, “My dad lost his business. There’s no way we can afford this school from now on, and I’d rather my sister continue to attend her private school. So I’m dropping out to go find a job in the city.”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin sat up slowly. “Well, that’s stupid. You can’t do that.”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho jumped angrily, “Don’t judge me, Min, don’t you dare judge me! You’ve always grown up in a very secure household. I have to do this for my family…for my little sister at the very least!”  
  
  
  
  
“How are you gonna just quite school like this? Does your father know?”  
  
  
  
  
“No. He doesn’t. I’m planning on leaving a note and heading to Seoul early tomorrow morning.”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. “Where you going to live? How are you going to eat? Can’t you see that you haven’t thought this through wisely?”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho stepped back. “I’ll figure something out.”  
  
  
  
  
An idea occurred to Changmin. “My parents will lend you money!”  
  
  
  
  
A stubborn look formed on Yunho’s face. “I refuse to take money from your parents. I don’t want to owe them anything. When I find a job, I’ll send my parents money.”  
  
  
  
  
“There is no place for pride here, Yunho! You’re just a simple country boy…how are you going to survive in the city?”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho kicked the side of bridge. “I’m tough. I can do this! Seoul can’t be that much different from this town.”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin shook his head in disbelief. “I grew up in Seoul…you’re in way over your head here, hyung! Plus you’ve about a year and half left until graduation, why quit now?”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho sighed. “I have to do this.”  
  
  
  
  
He threw his hands in the air and walked passed him. “I can’t talk to you if you’re going to be unreasonable! Come on, let’s get back to the dorm…we’ll talk about this rationally later.”  
  
  
  
  
He felt warm fingers brush against his hand.  
  
  
  
  
“I have something else to tell you, Changmin,” Yunho said this in a tone so grave that it made Changmin turned back.  
  
  
  
  
“Please, don’t hate me,” Yunho said quietly, trying to shrink into himself. He had never seen his friend so vulnerable.  
  
  
  
  
“I can’t hate you,” he assured him.  
Taking a deep breath, Yunho looked straight into his eyes and said, “I’m gay.”  
  
  
  
  
A deafening silence followed in which all that could be heard was a bird chirping.  
  
  
  
  
Yunho stepped back, his round face pale with fear. “I know you must be disgusted, but just please understand that I’ve been struggling with this problem for a very long time…I just recently had this revelation.”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin wasn’t disgusted. There was nothing about Yunho that could disgust him. But this piece of news upset him and he was unsure why.  
  
  
  
  
When Changmin finally found his voice, he asked, “And did you come to this revelation by yourself or did one of the other boys help you?”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho’s slightly crooked teeth shown as he bit his bottom lip. “I kissed a boy for the first time a week ago and it confirmed my suspicions. I’ve felt there was something wrong when you complained all the time about no girl at this school and I always felt most happy being around boys.”  
  
  
  
  
Anger filled up inside him. “You kissed another boy? Who?”  
  
  
  
  
“Does it really matter?”  
  
  
  
  
“Yes, of course it matters! I can’t believe you would do this! Who was it?”  
  
  
  
  
In astonishment, Yunho said, “Why are you acting like I cheated on you or something? I have the right to kiss whomever I want!”  
  
  
  
  
He was too impatient to be reasonable at this point. “No, you go to your best friend for this sort of thing. Not some other random person!”  
  
  
  
  
“It wasn’t random! It was Jaejoong, okay? Happy?”  
  
  
  
  
His disappointment choked him. “Kim Jaejoong? That punk?!”  
  
  
  
  
“I know you don’t get along with him, but he’s a friend too.”  
  
  
  
  
“But I’M not just ‘a friend’…I’m your best friend. So, why didn’t you come to me about this first?!”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho looked a bit panicked. “I couldn’t come to you. What was I supposed to say, ‘hey kiss me so I can see if I’m gay’? There’s no way you would have went for that!”  
  
  
  
  
“How do you know that?” His normally sweet voice became harsh. “Why didn’t you give me a chance?!”  
  
  
  
  
“BECAUSE I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU!”  
  
  
  
  
Nothing could have prepared Changmin for this confession. He was so side-winded all he managed to say was,”Why?“  
  
  
  
  
Yunho closed his eyes with a grimace of self-defeat. “I know you’re younger than me. I know I was supposed be an older brother to you. I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.”  
  
  
  
  
Ironically, the confession calmed him. Knowing he had Yunho’s true affection soothed his jealousy.  
  
  
  
  
“I’m not asking you to do anything about this,” Yunho continued with his eyes still closed. “I never even meant to tell you. It doesn’t matter really, it’s nothing. I’ll get over it. I’ll be leaving tomorrow so please just forget about all this. God, this is so awkward, I’m sorry!”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho turned on his heels to storm away but Changmin stopped him. For a split second, a wave of curiosity hit him. If Yunho was going to be kissing guys, he felt that he should have had first dibs. Now that Yunho’s first kiss was taken away from him, maybe if he just…  
  
  
  
  
His friend looked slightly frightened but didn’t move as Changmin leaned in.  
  
  
  
  
Their lips hovered over each other. He smelled Yunho’s candy breath as their breaths mingled…  
  
  
  
  
A duck’s quack woke him out of his daze. Changmin stumbled back.  
  
  
  
“I don’t like men.”  
  
  
  
That was all he said before he ran away with Yunho’s miserable expression following him for years after._  
  
  
  
  
\--------------  
  
  
  
  
  
Changmin halts beside Yunho and Siwon, tapping his foot on floor, impatiently watching the two older boys make-out. Jessica and Victoria continue tugging on his arms but he ignores them.  
  
  
  
  
“Yah! Could you two disengage so we can go home.”  
  
  
  
  
They break apart and give twin bored looks and noting the girls on his arms with no surprise.  
  
  
  
  
“We didn’t know you’d be finished so quickly, Changmin,” said Siwon while taking his boyfriend’s hand and leading the way to the car.  
  
  
  
  
As soon as Changmin puts the two girls in the cramped backseat of Siwon’s two-door Kia, they fall against each other and pass out.  
  
  
  
  
“Great,” he says as he rolls his eyes.  
  
  
  
  
“That’s what you get for taking home two drunken girls,” Siwon says oh-so-wisely, while opening the passenger door for Yunho.  
  
  
  
  
“It’s not my fault they stick to me like white on rice…where am I supposed to sit now? They won’t move and I can’t fit my legs back there.”  
  
  
  
  
“Honey, could you scoot over a bit? Changmin, just squeeze in beside Yunho.”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin’s entire being is on red alert as he slides into the car. Yunho is straddling the gear shift uncomfortably and trying to stick closer to Siwon as to avoid any bodily contact with Changmin.  
  
  
  
  
“Yundol, I can’t drive like this,” Siwon complains with a gentle tone. “These seats are just not built for two people…why don’t you sit in Changmin’s lap? Min, you don’t mind right?”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin stiffens as Yunho tries to find a comfortable spot on his leg. He keeps failing though and even hits his head on the car ceiling. So Changmin helps him by turning slightly on his side and pulling Yunho against him in a sitting-up spooning position with the other boy half on his left thigh.  
  
  
  
  
The car suddenly swivels to the left causing Yunho to fall forward but Changmin instinctively wraps arms around his waist before he can bump into the boy driving.  
  
  
  
  
“Sorry, guys. Forgot that was our turn.” Siwon then blasts on the radio.  
  
  
  
  
Yunho shifts in his arms and asks in his ear, “Am I too heavy?”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin’s arms flex. “Uh, no.”  
  
  
  
  
Siwon turns down the radio and asks his boyfriend, “You wanna a vanilla milkshake on the way home?”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho rubs his stomach and answers, “I probably shouldn’t.”  
  
  
  
  
“Why shouldn’t you?” He wonders out loud.  
  
  
  
  
Siwon scoffs affectionately. “Yunho thinks he’s getting fat. He’s been on a diet for the past week.”  
  
  
  
  
The car gets silent as Siwon makes a stop at a small restaurant to order a milkshake regardless of his boyfriend’s hesitation.  
  
  
  
  
Yunho looks happy as Siwon hands him the drink with a peck on the lips.  
  
  
  
  
Changmin rolls his eyes, something he tends to do around this couple. “Do you two ever stop kissing? Cause it’s making me sick.”  
  
  
  
  
Siwon pecks Yunho again with a smirk. “No experience with Yun’s lips, no opinion. They’re the sweetest thing to taste…”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho squirms in his arms. Changmin feels that pang of irritation and tightens his arms around the boy enjoying the milkshake.  
  
  
  
  
He’s glancing idly out the window when suddenly he hears Yunho comment, “I keep sucking hard and nothing is coming out!”  
  
  
  
  
He’s now watching in morbid fascination as Yunho finds creative ways to eat the too-frozen drink. The other boy scoops up some of the creamy vanilla with the straw and obscenely licks and sucks.  
  
  
  
  
Rational thought processes are thrown out the window as all he can do is glare at Yunho’s lips and the pink tongue playing with the cream. He notices Siwon isn’t paying attention to the sensual show going on beside him.  
  
  
  
  
_How gay is he!_ Changmin thought in bewilderment. A loud voice in his head corrects him: _No, honey, how gay are YOU? You’re the one staring at Yunho like he’s a delicious ice cream!_  
  
  
  
  
By the time they arrive at his and Siwon’s apartment, Changmin is hot and bothered and ready to fuck someone.  
  
  
  
  
He ends up shoving Yunho away and stumbling out of the car. He orders  
Yunho out and pulls the seat back in order to wake and drag the girls out of the backseat. Disoriented but happy to be with Changmin, Jessica and Victoria follow him all the way to the apartment and into his bedroom.  
  
  
  
  
He allows the girls to kiss and pleasure each other for his entertainment. It bored him quickly and soon he has Jessica on her back, fucking her hard (with protections of course) into the bed while Victoria plays with his body…then after a few minutes the girls switch places.  
  
  
  
  
Changmin is having a hard time coming though, and that’s never happened before. It scares him a little.  
  
  
  
  
_What’s wrong with me?_  
  
  
  
  
_Guh…it’s just not tight enough…_  
  
  
  
  
He pulls out of Victoria and strokes his cock to completion. Right before he climaxes he glances at the girl underneath him and she suddenly transforms into Yunho.  
  
  
  
  
His hand twists and he groans out a powerful orgasm. He collapses to the side, by the two passed out girls, grasping a handful of his hair.  
  
  
  
  
_What the fuck just happened?_  
  
  
  
  
\--------------  
  
  
  
  
The next morning he wakes up with a pounding headache and an empty bed. He hears a loud laugh that could only be Yunho’s warm laugh. He stares at the ceiling, remembering when they were younger how that laugh brightened up his worst days…he wishes he can have that bright laughter for himself again.  
  
  
  
  
\--------------  
  
  
  
  
  
Two hours later he’s on campus arriving late to his Japanese language class. The only available seat is on the left side of Yunho…he sits there reluctantly, trying to ignore the other boy.  
  
  
  
  
“Good of you to join us, Shim,” his professor comments condescendingly.  
  
  
  
  
Changmin bows slightly and apologizes. As he reaches into his backpack, he realizes he accidently left his Japanese book in his room.  
  
  
  
  
_Shit._  
  
  
  
  
Soundlessly, a book slides into his view. Yunho had moved closer to share the textbook with him. With a small smile, Yunho focuses on the lecture again. Changmin allows himself a moment of gazing at Yunho’s profile.  
  
  
  
  
The professor’s voice startles him soon after.  
  
  
  
  
“Yunho, recite the second verse on page 150,” the older man orders in a tone Changmin hates. This man always finds a way to humiliate Yunho in class. Rumor has it the senior professor is prejudice against homosexuals.  
  
  
  
  
Unaffected, Yunho smiles, nods eagerly and begins reciting. Changmin cringes inwardly at the other boy’s pronunciation. But his enthusiasm makes up for lack of skill, and he can hear the girls around them say “So cute!”  
  
  
  
  
The professor looks far from impressed as Yunho finishes off the last line. “Jung, that was abysmal. You must have passed first year Japanese out of pity from your previous professor. Maybe if you didn’t daydream in class, you’d be half way decent.” The professor chuckles and continues, “Must be those teeth of yours…can’t help with the pronunciations at all.”  
  
  
  
  
A few students laugh at this but a few appear upset for Yunho, who covers his mouth with his hand and steadily stares at the textbook.  
  
  
  
  
Changmin is beyond pissed off. “Instead of criticizing him, _sir_ , why don’t you actually do your job and teach him what he could work on? Or is that too much ask?”  
  
  
  
  
Usually, he keeps quiet in class, but the older man took it about ten steps too far this time.  
  
  
  
  
The professor seethes with anger. “Get out of my classroom, Shim. I’ll be speaking with your father about this.”  
  
  
  
  
“Oh please do,” Changmin comments over his shoulder as he storms out the classroom.  
  
  
  
  
He really didn’t care what kind of trouble he’ll be in. He remembers kicking a teacher in elementary school for being too rough with Yunho. This protective nature comes from the fact that the older boy is too insecure to stand up for himself…he’ll stand up for other people, but never himself. Instead, Yunho would rather stew in his own self-hate. For instance, he can imagine the other boy in the classroom now eyeing the Kanji in the textbook hopelessly while muttering under his breath.  
  
  
  
  
Changmin walks outside to sit under one of the trees in the courtyard. He pulls out his Calculus book to work on some problems then lays his head against trunk.  
  
  
  
  
_I’m not happy_ , he concludes to himself. _Something’s missing. I’m going to college, I’m doing what’s expected of me. But…I want more._  
  
  
  
  
He checks the time and sees it’s almost noon. His father should be on his lunch break now, so he gets up to go pay him a visit before that asshole professor does.  
  
  
  
  
His father’s office door is closed so he knocks before entering. His eyebrows shoot up as he sees who’s sitting in the seat across his father’s desk, sipping a drink: Jung Yunho.  
  
  
  
  
“Changmin, you’re here. Come, sit please,” his father waves him in.  
  
  
  
  
  
He sits down very slowly, eyeing Yunho and his father very carefully. _Why does this seem like a regular meeting between them?_  
  
  
  
  
  
“What the hell are you doing here?” Changmin asks Yunho, who begins to pack up his bag and stand up.  
  
  
  
  
His father speaks up for Yunho. “Never mind why he’s here.  
Yunho, please, stay.”  
  
  
  
  
“Although, he did just tell me what happened in class today. Admirable as it is to stand up for your friend, Changmin, you need to be more respectful.”  
  
  
  
  
“Why should I respect someone who doesn’t respect others?” Changmin resorts.  
  
  
  
  
His father got quiet. Yunho said tentatively, “Thank you for what you did. But I really don’t want you to get in trouble because of me.”  
  
  
  
  
“Changmin, tread lightly,” Shim Senior warns. “You don’t want to get kicked out of this university.”  
  
  
  
  
“And if I get kicked out, so what?”  
  
  
  
  
His father looks genuinely surprised. “What’s gotton into you, son?”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin averts his eyes towards Yunho then stands up. “Nothing. Forget it. I need to go. I will see you later, dad. Yunho, let’s go.”  
  
  
  
  
The other boy scrambles to follow him out while bidding farewell to his father.  
  
  
  
  
“I must say, I’m surprised you wanted me to –“  
  
  
  
  
Changmin interrupts while halting in a deserted corridor. “Why are secretly meeting with my father?”  
  
  
  
  
“It – it’s not…a secret.”  
  
  
  
  
“Don’t lie to me. The scene in my dad’s office looked  
way too comfortable to be a one-time thing.”  
  
  
  
  
“Okay, okay,” Yunho concedes. “I’m actually really close with your father…your entire family actually. I meet with your father at least once a week to chat.”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin’s eyes bug out. “You meet with my father once a week? What the - ? My ENTIRE family?”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho begins playing with his fingers nervously. “Don’t be mad. Please. They’ve been good to me.”  
  
  
  
  
“Good to you? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”  
  
  
  
Yunho leans against the row of lockers to his right as he confesses, “When I left high school and moved to Seoul, I was homeless for a couple of months. I worked a series of odd jobs and slept outside…sometimes on train station benches or under bridges. One day, your father ran into me as I was shoveling snow. I was hiding my face from the cold but he somehow recognized me.”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin insides are a mess but he leans against the lockers too and calmly listens to Yunho continue his story.  
  
  
  
  
“He tried to offer me help but I refused. He left me a slip of paper with your home address on it anyways and said I can come and stay with them any time I’d like. After exactly two days, I gave in. Your mom was more than happy to take me in and your sisters were great to be around too.”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho turns to look him straight in the eye. “I told them to never tell you I stayed at your house. Whenever you did come home to visit, I left and came back only after you went back to school.”  
  
  
  
  
“Why,” Changmin’s voice cracks. “Why did hide from me? You think as your best friend I didn’t worry sick not hearing a word from you for months on end. Well, let me tell you, I did worry. I can’t believe neither my parents nor sisters told me! Although it does explain a few weird things like finding unknown underwear in my room…”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho glances away. “I always stayed in your room. It was nice. It felt like I could still be close to you.”  
  
  
  
  
The older boy winces at the cheesiness of that last statement. But it makes Changmin grow bitter.  
  
  
  
  
“Well, I’m glad you at least didn’t feel like you lost a best friend to the dangerous streets of Seoul.”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho sighs. “Changmin, I was scared to see you again. I mean the last time I had seen was that day on the bridge where I confessed to you and you ran away from me. I thought you hated me. Hiding seemed like the only plausible option.”  
  
  
  
  
Recalling that confession put Changmin on alert. He becomes very aware of Yunho and how close they are standing together.  
  
  
  
  
“So then you eventually left my parents’ house and moved back to your home?”  
  
  
  
  
With a disoriented expression, Yunho replies, “Yes. I kept sending money home to my parents, but eventually we got out of our financial problems when my dad found a new job. I kept them afloat with my paychecks though. Because of this, I don’t regret anything.”  
  
  
  
  
“I’m just grateful for your family. Your father tutored me so I could keep up with what I was missing in high school. So when I took the college entrance exams, I passed. He’s the one that suggested Seoul University to me.”  
  
  
  
  
It astounds him how much his father did for this boy. Did he care for him that much? He feels a sense of pride towards his father, more-so than usual.  
  
  
  
  
“So you go visit him in his office because?”  
  
  
  
  
“Like I said. To chat. And he helps me with some subjects…mostly the language and writing. As you can see, I have to work on my Japanese.”  
  
  
  
  
The hopeless expression on Yunho’s face gets to Changmin in the worst way.  
  
  
  
  
“I can tutor you in Japanese…if you want.” He offers this then instantly regrets it when Yunho’s cloudiness disappears and the other boy hugs him around the waist.  
  
  
  
  
Softness. Warmth. That’s all he feels. Softness and warmth. And he never wants to let it go. So naturally, he pushes Yunho away and says, “Disgusting. I don’t like to be touched.”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho shakes his head. “You have a threesome last night, yet you don’t like to be touched. How does that work?”  
  
  
  
  
“By men,” he clarifies mostly to test Yunho’s reaction. “I don’t like to be touched by men.”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho laughs it off, but as he moves away, Changmin can tell he’s hurt by those words.  
  
  
  
  
Then, he decides to test the other boy even further…  
  
  
  
  
“Are you still in love with me?”  
  
  
  
  
The question stumps Yunho. A few awkward seconds pass then Yunho shakes his head. “No. I’m in love with the Changmin from back then…I don’t know who you are anymore.”  
  
  
  
  
He doesn’t know how to respond to that so he simply steps closer until their bodies are brushing. “If you were in love with me then you were attracted to me. Are you attracted to me now?”  
  
  
  
  
“Why are you asking me this?” Yunho mutters.  
  
  
  
  
Over the years, Changmin had grown slightly taller than Yunho. So he leans down a bit so his lips linger over the other’s. “Call it…curiosity.”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho’s shallow breathing hit his nose. _There’s that candy-breath again._  
  
  
  
  
Only this time, the sweet scent goes straight to his groin.  
  
  
  
  
He stumbles back. “I – I can’t.”  
  
  
  
  
Rubbing his arms together, Yunho watches him…probably wondering if he’ll run away like the last time.  
  
  
  
  
Well, Changmin didn’t disappoint. He runs away like the big chicken he is.  
  
  
  
  
_How do I get rid of this feeling?_  
  
  
  
  
  
\--------------  
  
  
  
  
  
After a few days of avoiding Yunho (and Siwon) and suffering from gay-erotic wet dreams, Changmin crashes into the apartment at 2am, drunk, hungry, and horny. But there wasn’t any decent food at the party he had gone to and the girls were even more lame than usual…he couldn’t get it up for any of them even if he wanted to. After 3 years of womanizing, he can only conclude his cock is broken.  
  
  
  
  
_Damn girls broke my cock_ , he thought hazily in his drunken state while wobbling into the kitchen. Maybe if he eats a sandwich and jerks off in a cold shower, then he can fall into a dreamless, Yunho-less sleep.  
  
  
  
  
But speak of the devil…Yunho is sitting at the kitchen table drinking a glass of milk. _Damn it, I just can’t catch a break!_  
  
  
  
  
Yunho stares at him anxiously as he runs into chair. “You’re drunk.”  
  
  
  
  
“Thank you, Captain Obvious.”  
  
  
  
  
“Where are your girls?”  
  
  
  
  
For some reason this makes Changmin start laughing hysterically. Yunho appears worried about his sanity.  
  
  
  
  
“Well, Yunho, let me tell you,” he slurs and sits in the chair closest to the other boy. “They’re still at the party because I didn’t feel like fucking them.”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho frowns. “Why not? Grow some morals?”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin lets out a humorless laugh. “It’s all your fault.”  
  
  
  
  
“How do you figure that?”  
  
  
  
  
He points a finger at Yunho in accusation. “You weren’t born a girl. That’s what makes all this your fault.”  
  
  
  
  
The older boy’s eyes widen, mouth hanging open. Changmin’s gaze slips to those lips. Maybe he can try it…just this once.  
  
  
  
  
“Kiss me.”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho gasps. “What!”  
  
  
  
  
“Kiss me.”  
  
  
  
  
“No – No! I – I can’t!”  
  
  
  
  
Raising an eyebrow, he asks sneakily, “What? Not in love with me anymore.”  
  
  
  
  
Meeting his eyes directly, Yunho says, “No. I loved past Changmin…I don’t know who you are.”  
  
  
  
  
“I’m the same person!”  
  
  
  
  
“No. You’re not.”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin stands up, pushes the chair away and pulls Yunho up. “I’ll say it again. Kiss me.”  
  
  
  
  
“I’m not your type, Changmin. You’re drunk. Let go.”  
  
  
  
  
But he doesn’t want to hear any of that. So he presses Yunho against the kitchen table and swoops down to cover the other’s lips with his.  
  
  
  
  
Yunho is flailing his arms but not pushing the taller boy away. And Changmin, at the first touch of their lips, moans helplessly while licking and biting for entrance.  
  
  
  
  
_Candy and hint of sweet milk. Mmmmmmm…_  
  
  
  
  
Yunho’s lips tremble under his as they part and tongues meet in a lustful frenzy. One hand goes around Yunho’s head and the other around his waist for leverage as their bodies rub against each other.  
  
  
  
  
All Changmin could think is _goooooooooooood, so so good…more, MORE!_  
  
  
  
  
The kissing and rubbing go on until his lips feel like they’re going to fall off. Yunho pulls away, falling backwards on top of the table.  
  
  
  
  
Changmin glares dimly at the nicest pair of thighs in shorts he’s ever seen on a woman or man. He knows then he wants to be in-between them, kissing them… caressing them…fucking them.  
  
  
  
  
Yunho must have interpreted the crazed look in Changmin’s eyes incorrectly because he straightens up and backs away quickly.  
  
  
  
  
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Don’t be angry. I was only obliging you.”  
  
  
  
  
“Oh really? Then what the hell do you do when you’re not obliging? Bend over?”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho looks away. “I don’t that, Changmin.”  
  
  
  
  
“Bet you do it for Siwon,” he says viciously.  
  
  
  
  
Clenching his fists, the older boy walks away. “Not for you.”  
  
  
  
  
_Teasing bitch._  
  
  
  
  
  
\--------------  
  
  
  
  
  
The next day, Yunho leaves the apartment and says he’ll be back in a few days. Siwon nods in understanding but says, “How am I going to sleep without my Yun-dol, huh?”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho smiles and kisses him briefly while Changmin seethes in the background ready to pound Siwon’s head in.  
  
  
  
  
“Where are you going anyway?” he asks tightly.  
  
  
  
  
“You’ll see.”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho flashes those crooked canines and dashes out the door.  
  
  
  
  
_Damn him._  
  
  
  
  
\--------------  
  
  
  
  
True to his word, Yunho comes back a few days later with a big smile. After stewing in his own misery for days with no sex, Changmin immediately sees a difference in that smile.  
  
  
  
  
Yunho fixed his teeth!  
  
  
  
  
“OMO!” Siwon gushes. “Yunho-yah! They’re gorgeous! You look so handsome, baby!”  
  
  
  
  
“Why would you do this?” Changmin asks in a strained voice.  
  
  
  
  
Putting a hand up to his mouth, Yunho explains, “They were starting to really hurt me…especially when I eat. Plus, they made me ugly.”  
  
  
  
  
As Siwon denies that last statement, Changmin thinks - _ugly, my ass! He had to have done this on purpose! Now he’ll attract even more attention with that blinding smile. UGH!_  
  
  
  
  
Later that day, Kyuhyun comes over to hang out. After playing a few rounds of video games, Yunho says his teeth are hurting him and wants to go lie down. Changmin naturally follows him under the pretense of going to his own room.  
  
  
  
  
So while Siwon is goofing around with Kyuhyun in the living room, Changmin enters Siwon’s and Yunho’s bedroom without permission.  
  
  
  
  
Yunho’s sitting on the bed as if waiting for him. “What do you want, Changmin?”  
  
  
  
  
He feels a need so strong he cuts right to the point. “I want one night with you. Give me one night and I know I can move on. This is just a phase I’m going through.”  
  
  
  
  
The other boy stares up in disbelief. “A phase? Have you been kissing other boys?”  
  
  
  
  
“No. I think this is just something that’s been in my subconscious since you confessed to me years ago. It’s time to deal with it. I’ll probably find it disgusting anyways, so don’t worry.”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho glares at him. “I’m not giving you one night. You got your kiss. If you’re having an identity crisis, go find some boy-toy you can experiment with because I don’t do one-night stands.”  
  
  
  
  
“Not even for me?”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho stands and practically yells, “You think I’m still in love you, don’t you? Well – I’m not, ok!”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin approaches him as one approaches a skittish squirrel. “Keep your voice down. Why are you making this such a big deal?”  
  
  
  
  
“Because it is a big deal! I want love, Changmin. That’s not something you can give me. You’re not even gay, you don’t even know what you want. You go around sleeping with lots girls thinking that’ll make you happy, but it won’t. That’s not love.”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin takes Yunho’s hand in his and rubs the knuckles. “Then show me what love is.”  
  
  
  
  
The older boy bites his lower lip and pulls away. “Figure out your priorities, Changmin. Figure out what you want…maybe then…”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho walks out of the bedroom leaving him alone with his confused thoughts.  
  
  
  
  
  
\--------------  
  
  
  
  
  
  
To say that Shim Changmin is going crazy would be an understatement. He couldn’t talk to anybody and anybody who tried talking to him received a sneer and a sarcastic remark.  
  
  
  
  
There’s an anger inside him that he want to unleash but didn’t know how unless he wants to end up in jail.  
  
  
  
  
Walking down one of the halls to go to math class, Changmin sees Yunho and Siwon holding hands. Yunho’s eyes meet his for a second before slipping away. This makes him grind his teeth.  
  
  
  
  
He decides to bypass math class and go visit the music hall. He’s never been in there, but listening to music relaxes him. As he steps into the choir hall, he sees a big commotion.  
  
  
  
  
His eyes widen when he recognizes one of his favorite rock bands, TRAX. They must be here as special guests for the students. He leans against the wall and watches with a slightly open mouth. He idolizes this group, especially one of their singers, Jay.  
  
  
  
  
After a few minutes of observing their fantastic vocals, the member Jay spots him. Changmin tries to hide away but the other man calls him over.  
  
  
  
  
“Hey, what’s your name?”  
  
  
  
  
“Shim Changmin.”  
  
  
  
  
“There’s something about the way you were watching us that tells me you wanna try this.”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin shakes his head. “No, no. That’s okay. I sing for fun at home…but I…can’t here.”  
  
  
  
  
“Come on,” Jay encourages. “Give it a shot.” And he hands Changmin a microphone and signals for his band to start the music.  
  
  
  
  
The strum of the electric guitar ignites a fire inside of him and he starts hesitantly singing with Jay one of TRAX’s hit songs.  
  
  
  
  
He gains confidence quickly as he closes his eyes and lets the hardcore drums and guitar lead his voice. Soon he bellows out a high note that sends the choir hall shaking.  
  
  
  
  
When the song ends, he opens his eyes and sees everyone looking at him in shock. He immediately feels embarrassed and turns away.  
  
  
  
  
Jay stops him. “You have a natural talent!”  
  
  
  
  
Then Jay calls his manager over and they both try to get his contact information and convince him to audition at SM Entertainment. He didn’t take their words seriously, but something feels right about giving this opportunity a chance.  
  
  
  
  
When Changmin bids everyone goodbye with a promise to call Jay, he jumps when he comes face-to-face with Yunho.  
  
  
  
  
“What’re you doing here?”  
  
  
  
  
“I take a dance class down the hall…heard a new voice coming from here. I had to come see…”  
  
  
  
  
The older boy comes closer to him and puts hand to Changmin’s heart. “You’re amazing. You have to pursue this.”  
  
  
  
  
His previous doubt disappears. With those encouraging words, Changmin knows he can do this…that he wants to do this.  
  
  
  
  
\--------------  
  
  
  
  
Changmin tells his father he’s going to SM Entertainment to audition and the old man nearly has a heart attack. His father sits him down and lectures him for exactly an hour.  
  
  
  
  
Finally, Changmin interjects, “Dad, for the first time ever I’m excited about doing something. It might not work out…I am older than their usual trainees, they might not even take me. But I want to try this. Yunho –“  
  
  
  
  
He stops himself from continuing.  
  
  
  
  
“Yunho? What does Yunho have to do with this?”  
  
  
  
  
He looks at his father directly and admits, “Yunho…believes in me.”  
  
  
  
  
Shim Senior seems to consider these words carefully. Then, abruptly stands and says, “Fine. Give it a shot.”  
  
  
  
Surprised at the older man’s change of heart, Changmin bows and thanks him. Before he walks out the door, his father simply says, “Yunho’s a good kid. Don’t lose him this time.”  
  
  
  
  
Taken aback, Changmin inquires, “Father?”  
  
  
  
  
His dad sits back down and waves a hand to dismiss him. “You better go or you’ll be late to class.”  
  
  
  
  
  
\--------------  
  
  
  
  
Changmin was only ever thrown off twice in his life. The first time was when Yunho confessed to him, and the second time would be getting accepted into SM Entertainment. He went to that audition and they loved his voice. They wanted him to debut as a solo artist, musical genre: Rock.  
  
  
  
  
When Siwon and Kyuhyun find out about this they start teasing him, telling him he could be the Elvis of Korea and that he’s totally got the rock star thing down pact because of his womanizing.  
  
  
  
  
Yunho is in the room enjoying all humor but Changmin notices that last bit makes the other boy’s smile fade.  
  
  
  
  
He wants to tell Yunho he’s sick of all the womanizing and that there’s only one person he wants to be with, even if it scares him to death. Does he really know how to be with a boy?  
  
  
  
  
For weeks after that day, Yunho finds ways to avoid him. And Changmin gets so busy juggling his studies and vocal training at SME, that he has no time to seek him out.  
  
  
  
  
_I miss him._  
  
  
  
  
\--------------  
  
  
  
  
“Changmin! I miss you!”  
  
  
  
  
Jessica throws her arms around his neck on the day before summer break in the middle of the university’s courtyard.  
  
  
  
  
He wards off her kiss. “Jessica, I don’t have time.”  
  
  
  
  
“You never have time! I wanna be with you.”  
  
  
  
  
Then the tall, beautiful girl goes on a rant about how he hasn’t been paying any attention to her. Changmin mentally rolls his eyes. Glancing away, he sees Yunho and Siwon across the yard beyond Jessica’s shoulder. The normally happy couple seem to be arguing; Yunho looks upset and Siwon looks defensive.  
  
  
  
  
After a few minutes, as Jessica continues to ramble, Yunho shakes his head and runs away from his boyfriend. Siwon appears frustrated and leaves the courtyard in the other direction. From his angle, Changmin could see Yunho running towards the thick trees.  
  
  
  
  
He moves Jessica aside, paying no heed to her loud complaint, and breaks into a quick jog in the older boy’s direction.  
  
  
  
  
Changmin spots Yunho crouching behind a tree, head hidden in his arms. The other boy lifts his head when hears footsteps crunch on the leaves and branches.  
  
  
  
  
Yunho stands up and hurriedly brushes away the moisture on his cheeks. The fact that he had been crying hurts Changmin in ways he didn’t know he could hurt. He vows to make Siwon suffer later.  
  
  
  
  
“What happened?”  
  
  
  
  
Resting a shoulder and the side of his head against the tree, Yunho answers, “I broke up with Siwon.”  
  
  
  
  
Well, that certainly isn’t what Changmin expects to hear. The little voice inside his head rejoices.  
  
  
  
  
“Did he hurt you?”  
  
  
  
  
“It’s stupid.”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin leans a shoulder next to the other boy. “It can’t be that stupid if you broke up and ran away from him.”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho’s slanted, brown eyes connect with his. “He can’t…he won’t…”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin moves even closer. “You can tell me anything.”  
  
  
  
  
The other boy shuts his eyes while he says in one breath, “He refuses to sleep with me!”  
  
  
  
So gob smacked he says the first thing that comes to mind, “I’ll sleep with you.”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho’s widens his eyes comically, then narrows. “Is this about that one-night stand thing again? Cause the answer’s NO.”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin sucks in a breath. “It’s not. You told me to figure out my priorities. I did. I’m not sleeping around, I’m focusing on my training, and…”  
  
  
  
  
“And?”  
  
  
  
  
“And I figured out that I’ve always wanted you. I don’t know if I’m gay. I don’t want to put a label on it. But I know I want everything that is Jung Yunho. You. Only you.”  
  
  
  
  
Eyes glittering, Yunho repeats what he said weeks ago, “I want love, Changmin.”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin grabs Yunho’s thin hand and intertwines their fingers. “Then, teach me. Teach me how. I wanna love you. I don’t wanna lose you again.”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho threw himself against Changmin, locking their lips together.  
  
  
  
  
_Yes! Yes! Yes!_  
  
  
  
  
They pull at each other’s hair, kissing like their life depends on it. Changmin pushes Yunho against the tree and lets his lips travel down to the neck where he breathed in the other’s scent. His hands slip under the loose t-shirt Yunho’s wearing and is pleasantly surprised with the soft chest there.  
  
  
  
  
Yunho wiggles away slightly. “I’m sorry. I’m not exactly in shape. I’ll work on it!”  
  
  
  
  
Changmin frown. “Don’t change yourself for me. I don’t like that.”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho nods sheepishly then gasps when he feels hands unzip his pants.  
  
  
  
  
“What’re you doing, Min?”  
  
  
  
  
“Assessing the entire package.”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho reddens. “You’ve never – touched a boy this way before.”  
  
  
  
  
“I know. I wanna see what it takes to get you to orgasm. These are important details to know before one starts seriously dating.”  
  
  
  
  
“Is that so?” Yunho grins but shakes his head and holds him off. “Not yet. Just kiss me.”  
  
  
  
  
And Changmin couldn’t deny him that. So they make-out and end up frotting against each other, their jeans-covered crotches creating a delicious friction. Yunho grabs him by the shoulders and Changmin controls their movements with hands on the other’s hips. It’s sexy. It’s hot.  
  
  
  
  
They both came in their pants within minutes and collapse on the ground. Yunho snuggles on Changmin’s chest.  
  
  
  
  
Staring up through the trees, Changmin let out a content sigh. Then smirks while asking, “Wanna be my girlfriend?”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho punches him in the stomach lightly, but damn it kinda hurt!  
  
  
  
  
“Careful! You could've have damaged the family jewels, then I’d be useless to you!”  
  
  
  
  
Yunho laughs freely. “Not useless! Just less of a man-whore.”  
  
  
  
  
“Can I be a whore for you?”  
  
  
  
  
His new boyfriend lifts his head to respond. “Love me first.”  
  
  
  
  
He wants to. Oh how he wants to be able let go of his fear and love without restraint. With time though…  
  
  
  
  
“Please show me how.”  
  
  
  
  
“Gladly.”  
  
  
  
  
And a kiss seals the deal.  
  
  
  



	2. Only You: The Sequel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yunho wants Changmin but lets his insecurities mislead him...can Changmin fix this?

[](http://pics.livejournal.com/xxfergiexx/pic/0008ht08/)[](http://pics.livejournal.com/xxfergiexx/pic/0008gya2/)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
After a couple of minutes, they stop kissing to stare at each other. Yunho looks into those wide brown eyes and feels his heart beat faster. Changmin suddenly jumps up as if he’s caught on fire. “Shit! I have a meeting with my dad and Professor Dickhead! I’ll see you in an hour, okay?”Yunho nods and kisses the taller boy on the cheek. Changmin lets out a joyous laugh and runs off.  It’s been a long time since he’s seen Changmin that carefree…it feels good…he feels good.

Sliding down the tree trunk, Yunho sits on the ground and leans his head against the tree. _I’m so happy! Am I allowed to be this happy?_

  
  
  
  
When he was a young boy, meeting the quiet and lanky Shim Changmin had been the best and worst thing of his life.  The kid annoyed him at first with his silent arrogance, but as Yunho got to know him he found that trait not so much arrogance but a wall the younger boy puts up to hide his timidity.  Yunho only discovered this after one day of bonding in the school playground...

  
  
  
  
\----

  
  
  
 _It was a sunny, spring day in 5 th grade.  Yunho was running, looking for a new place to hide before his friend, Heechul, finished counting to 100 and came searching for him. He snuck a quick glance behind him then halted at the swings because Changmin was sitting there reading a book.  _

  
  
  
  
_Yunho approached the swings cautiously. The other boy lifted his head and stared at him._

  
  
  
  
_“Hi.”_

  
  
  
  
_Changmin didn’t respond, just went back to reading his book._

  
  
  
  
_“What are you reading?”_

  
  
  
  
_Changmin glanced up with a look of impatience but he didn’t protest when Yunho sat on the swing next to him._

  
  
  
  
  
_“I’m running away from Heechul,” he said lightly, trying to make an effort. “I have a few minutes before he looks for me here…he thinks I’m on the other side of the playground.” He whispered that last part like it was a big secret and he could see a ghost of smile on Changmin’s face._

  
  
  
  
_Something squeezed Yunho’s heart at the sight. “Why are you out here by yourself?”_

  
  
  
  
_Changmin’s looked away from him when he answered, “I like to be by myself.”_

  
  
  
  
_Yunho took a moment to assess the other boy’s distant expression. “I don’t think that’s it. I think you’re just shy.”_

  
  
  
  
  
_“Am not!”_

  
  
  
_“Are too!”_

  
  
  
_A distant shout was heard then. “Yuuuuuuundol!! I’m gonna find you!”_

  
  
  
  
_Yunho gasped and grabbed Changmin by the arm to drag him away._

  
  
  
  
_“Yah! Yah! What’re you doing?!”_

  
  
  
  
_Yunho shushed him and pushed him down to crouch behind a large, thick bush._

  
  
  
  
_“Shhh! Heechul…”_

  
  
  
  
_Being this close to Changmin caused Yunho to look, really look at this boy closely. Wide, brown eyes stared back at him questioningly. Then they both heard Heechul yell out, “OUCH! My foot! Stupid book! Who would leave a book here!”_

  
  
  
  
_Changmin looked around and realized he had dropped the book he was reading when Yunho dragged him away.  Yunho put his hands together and silently begged forgiveness with an exaggerated pout. Then, for the first time ever, Yunho witnessed Changmin smile. It was a smile that made those large eyes mismatch endearingly. Yunho’s heart skipped a beat._

  
  
  
\----

  
  
From that moment on, Yunho fell in love with Changmin little by little. The more he got to know him, the harder he fell.  And for a teenage boy, that was confusing as hell…especially when he was already struggling with his sexuality.  The only one at the all-boys school who understood his dilemma was Jaejoong.  So when the older boy offered to kiss him, he jumped at the chance.  He remembered Jaejoong’s soft lips, but also remembered pretending they were Changmin’s.

  
  
  
  
  
When Changmin kissed him in the kitchen that one day, Yunho fell in love again so hard he was creating a whole underneath himself. It was lie what he kept telling Changmin – about not being in love with him anymore. He will always love him. Love him until he breathes his last breath.

  
  
  
  
What happened minutes ago leaves Yunho dumbfounded but deliriously happy. He even forgot about Siwon.

  
  
  
 _Oh. Siwon._

  
  
  
  
Yunho grimaces and forces himself not to feel guilty. It’s Siwon’s fault their relationship fell apart in the first place, he reasons.

  
  
  
  
Because the truth is his boyfriend refuses to sleep with him.  Siwon would kiss him and fondle him to his heart’s content but hits the breaks when it begins to lead towards sex.

  
  
  
  
He didn’t let it get to him in the beginning of their relationship because he wanted to take things slow, especially after reuniting with Changmin.  But it began frustrating him as month after month Siwon showed no signs of wanting to have sex with him.

  
  
  
  
Weeks ago, when Changmin brought home two girls to sleep with, the frustration inside him turned into desperation, and he confronted Siwon about it.

  
  
  
  
\----

  
  
  
 _Moans and girlish screams can be heard through the wall of the bedroom he shared with Siwon. Yunho looked over at his boyfriend to see him reading a literature textbook._

  
  
  
  
_He sighed and commented, “It sounds like he’s killing them in there.”_

  
  
  
_Siwon snorted but didn’t say anything._

  
  
  
  
_Yunho continued, “Wonder what that would feel like…”_

  
  
  
  
_He left his comment hanging but it certainly got Siwon’s attention._

  
  
  
  
_“Babe?”_

  
  
  
  
_Yunho sat up only to straddle Siwon. “I wanna have sex.”_

  
  
  
_His boyfriend put the textbook down and laid his hands on Yunho’s waist. “It’s not the right time.”_

  
  
  
  
_Blowing his bangs out of his face, he asked, “When will it be the right time? I want you!”_

  
  
  
  
_Siwon sat up and kissed him. “No sex out of wedlock.”_

  
  
  
  
_Realization finally dawned. “So that’s why you’ve been pushing me away? You do realize we can’t legally get married in Korea, right?”_

  
  
  
  
_Siwon glanced away nervously. “My faith, Yunnie…my faith wants me to wait.”_

  
  
  
  
_Yunho got off of the other boy. “I’m a Christian too, Siwon! But don’t you think expressing our love for each other in the physical sense is important for our relationship too, especially after being together for so long?”_

  
  
  
  
_“Do you love me, Yunho? I mean, do you really love me?”_

  
  
  
  
_The insecurity Yunho heard in Siwon’s tone startled him. “What is that supposed to mean?”_

  
  
  
  
_Siwon shook his head then dragged Yunho towards him for another kiss. “There are few factors holding me back from going all the way, but it’s not because I don’t desire you.”_

  
  
  
  
_Then, taking Yunho’s doubtful face in his hands, Siwon ended the discussion by saying, “Stay innocent, stay pure…I love that about you.”_

  
  
  
  
\----

  
  
  
  
So his ex-boyfriend wants him to stay a virgin until…they got married? And when would that be? Five, maybe ten years from now? And Siwon expected him to wait that long?

  
  
  
  
As they walked to class earlier today, and in a failed attempt to push Changmin from his mind, Yunho tried to be romantic and suggest to Siwon they have a private marriage ceremony at the end of the semester.

  
  
  
  
Even though part of him was just teasing, Siwon took it seriously and not very well.

  
  
  
  
“Yunho. I love you, you know that. But my father expects me to marry…a woman.”

  
  
  
  
Something snapped inside him when he heard Siwon say that. And their fight in the school’s courtyard accelerated from there.

  
  
  
  
So basically, Siwon wants to play with him until he’s forced to get serious with a woman. When Yunho yelled at him and told him how selfish he was being, Siwon responded, “You have no idea the pressure I’m under with my father! I want you, I do! But – but –“

  
  
  
  
Then Yunho asked his boyfriend if his father even knew about them. When Siwon shook his head, Yunho knew he had enough and ran away. Then, of course, it’s Changmin who caught him and Yunho couldn’t be happier than he is right now.

  
  
  
  
He is scared. Scared Changmin might chicken out on him since this whole _being gay_ thing is new, but Yunho is determined to enjoy it while it lasts…especially since his relationship with Siwon is a dead end.

  
  
  
His eyes droop and he snoozes for what feels like hours but then Changmin is shaking him gently awake.

  
  
  
  
“Yunho! Guess what? Asshole-teacher got told off by my dad…oh you should’ve seen the bastard’s face!”

  
  
  
  
Changmin’s smile is contagious so Yunho smiles back. This seems to cause Changmin to zone out for a second then pull him closer.

  
  
  
“Let’s go back to the apartment. You need to move your things from Siwon’s room to mine.”

  
  
  
  
The smile on his face froze but he follows his new boyfriend wordlessly.  In the car to avoid having to talk, Yunho turns the radio up.  Changmin holds his hand while he drives the less than a mile drive back to their apartment.

  
  
  
  
Yunho stares out the window…looking like the epitome of relaxed, but on the inside he’s trembling. He got so excited about finally having Changmin for himself, he didn’t think about the…having to share a bed with him part. Sure rutting against each other in the forest was amazing, but they didn’t have to be naked for that…

  
  
  
  
Yunho looks down at his body and shudders. _How in the world am I going to compete with those other girls he’s been with?_

  
  
  
  
He thinks briefly of Siwon and why he broke up with him. His ex-boyfriend is a virgin. So the idea of being intimate with him never made Yunho this nervous. 

  
  
  
  
 _Oh.My.God._

  
  
  
  
_What am I going to do?_

  
  
  
  
Yunho swallows and lets Changmin drag him into the apartment.  Of course Siwon is there…waiting for him to return.

  
  
  
  
When his ex-boyfriends spots their hand-holding, his jaw unhinges.  “What the -? Yunho? What’s going on?”

  
  
  
  
Changmin puffs up his chest and proclaims, “Yunho is my boyfriend now, Siwon.”

  
  
  
  
“WHAT?!” Siwon shouts, arms flailing everywhere. “You’re not even gay!”

  
  
  
  
“I’m gay for Yunho!”

  
  
  
  
“You can’t just be gay for one person!”

  
  
  
  
“Says who?!”

  
  
  
  
Yunho stands in-between them to cease their shouting. He calmly turns to Siwon and says, “I’m sorry. I should have told you this a long time ago…”

  
  
  
  
He then proceeds to tell Siwon a brief version of him and Changmin’s past friendship…he leaves out the part that he’s always been in love with the younger boy though. But Siwon surmises as much.  

  
  
  
  
“I knew you weren’t completely in love with me,” his ex-boyfriend whispers in his ear. “I could feel it.”

  
  
  
  
“And you weren’t with me either,” Yunho concludes.  Siwon provides no response to that but he caresses Yunho’s cheek and says, “I will miss you. I do care for you, I just…”

  
  
  
  
  
Yunho nods and pulls away. He bumps into Changmin and turns to see the heated expression on the other boy’s face. Eyes widening, he runs away to gather his things from Siwon’s room.

  
  
  
\----

  
  
  
  
After settling his stuff in Changmin’s room, his new boyfriend announces their first date will be a dinner and a movie that night. Yunho smiles and lets himself be kissed sweetly.

  
  
  
  
First, they go out to eat because they’re both starved.  He watches Changmin stuff his face with three different dishes.  It’s fascinating to watch the other boy eat.  There’s unrepressed joy on that normally controlled face, and he acts like a kid in a toy store. His observation goes unnoticed and Yunho finds that adorable.

  
  
  
  
In the middle of their meal, one of Changmin’s little girlfriends, Victoria, pops out of nowhere and confronts him about not calling her. Changmin stops her mid-sentence and, with a mouthful of food, declares Yunho his official boyfriend.

  
  
  
  
Yunho chokes on his drink. He stares at the other boy in awe.

  
  
  
Victoria gawks between them in disbelief.  “What?! You’re not even gay!”

  
  
  
  
Changmin shakes his head in exasperation. “What the fuck is it with people using that as an accusation? You, Siwon, my father…”

  
  
  
  
Yunho’s jaw drops and he interrupts, “You told your father about us already?”

  
  
  
  
“Well, of course,” his considerate boyfriend answers with a ‘duh, stupid’ look.    

  
  
  
  
And Yunho falls in love again.

  
  
  
\----

  
  
  
  
  
Changmin holds his hand as they wait in line to get a ticket to watch the American film “Cruel Intentions”.   

  
  
  
  
From the start, he can tell the movie is raunchy and very sexual, which makes him shift in his seat uncomfortably and constantly glance at the boy next him, who seems completely at ease. Yunho’s body, however, flushes with each sex scene.

  
  
  
  
The movie is about a highly promiscuous young man who makes a bet to bed a well-known virgin girl.  The young man, who is played by a gorgeous actor in Yunho’s opinion, ends up falling in love with this virgin girl. The first time they make love is beautifully choreographed by the director.  Yunho subtly glances at Changmin in the dark only to see him staring back.

  
  
  
  
Changmin leans over and captures his lips in a soft kiss then he whispers, “Our love-making will be more beautiful than that.”

  
  
  
  
Butterflies explode in Yunho’s tummy.  When Changmin turns his attentions back to the movie, the butterflies sink and nausea settles.

  
  
  
  
He barely pays attention to the rest of the movie. His thoughts too preoccupied with sex and Changmin.

  
  
  
  
 _How in the world am I going to pleasure him with zero experience?_ The thought of what might happen later, leaves him with dread, not excitement.

  
  
  
  
\----

  
  
  
  
Yunho is standing under the shower head, letting the lukewarm water run down every inch of his body as he considers his options.

  
  
  
  
 _I can fake a headache…hmmm but I’m a terrible actor._

  
  
  
  
_I can pretend I’m tired...well, I am actually tired so it wouldn’t be lying exactly._

  
  
  
  
_Or I can just come right out and say ‘Changmin, I’m a virgin and I’m too chicken-shit to have sex with you’…uh, no definitely NOT._

  
  
  
  
Yunho gets out of the shower and refuses to look in the mirror. Thank God he thought to fix his teeth, but he still considers himself pudgy. Maybe he can start working out tomorrow. He certainly doesn’t want to look like an ugly duckling standing beside Changmin!

  
  
  
Putting on boxers and a t-shirt, he exits the bathroom and runs into Siwon. They stare at each other  
for a bit, but then Yunho brushes passed him.

  
  
  
  
“Yunho, how do you know he’s even serious about you?” Siwon asks him gravely. “You know he’s a womanizer. Why would you set yourself up for hurt?”

  
  
  
  
Yunho didn’t turn around but did respond over his shoulder. “You mean like rejecting me and making me I’m a fling until you find the right girl? That kind of hurt you mean?”

  
  
  
  
Nothing but silence follows.

  
  
  
  
He walks away and closes Changmin’s bedroom door with a sharp snap. Sighing, Yunho runs his fingers through his damp hair. A cough makes him look in the direction of the bed. Changmin is striking a sexy pose: lying on his side, shirtless, with his head resting in his hand.  He notices then the lights are dimmed.  He stands at door awkwardly until Changmin signals him over with a pat on the bed and a smoldering look.

  
  
  
  
Yunho gulps.

  
  
  
  
But he walks over anyway and lies on the bed next to him. Changmin starts caressing the Yunho’s hip when he asks, “Did you have a good shower?”

  
  
  
  
“Yes.”

  
  
  
  
Changmin gives him a soft smile. “I’m so happy…I want you, Yunho.”

  
  
  
  
He doesn’t know how to respond to that. Inside, Yunho is wailing at his own awkwardness. _Say something, fool! Make a move!_

  
  
  
  
  
All he manages to do is sit up and stare at the other boy with hopeless eyes. Changmin frowns in  
concern, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

  
  
  
  
Taking a deep breath, he said quietly, “Min, don’t you think we’re going too fast? I mean, this is all new to you. We should slow down. I’m not ready yet.”

  
  
  
  
Changmin’s frown deepens and he looks like he wants to point something out. But then just shrugs and lies back on a pillow.

  
  
  
  
“Whatever you want. Whatever you’re comfortable with. How do you want to be loved tonight?”

  
  
  
  
Yunho breathes a sigh of relief and lies down as well. “Just hold me…kiss me.”

  
  
  
  
And Changmin spends most of the night doing just that.

  
  
  
\----

  
  
  
  
  
For the next few weeks, Yunho remains relatively “unscratched”. His boyfriend did find ways to grope him and kiss him whenever he could, but Yunho would always end up pushing him away. And for a while, Changmin seemed to take it lightheartedly…even joked about him acting like a shy virgin. Yunho wanted to smack his head against a wall. _Jung Yunho, you are one big ass fail!_

  
  
  
  
But one day, Changmin comes home tired and grumpy from practice at SME. Since summer break started weeks ago, his boyfriend spends most of the time at the company preparing for a debut.  They only see each other at night. 

  
  
  
  
“I’m hungry,” Changmin says, walking Yunho backwards to the bedroom. Siwon passes them without a word to go to the bathroom. Changmin shuts their bedroom door and stares at Yunho.

  
  
  
  
“Want me to order some food?”

  
  
  
  
“I ate at the company.”

  
  
  
  
Yunho tilts his head in confusion. “But you said you’re hungry.”

  
  
  
  
“Hungry for you.”

  
  
  
  
Yunho feels like prey. It makes him hot and uncomfortable. _Oh lawd. What excuse am I going to use now?_

  
  
  
  
“I have a headache!”

  
  
  
  
“That’s fine. Let’s just fuck our way through it.”

  
  
  
  
Changmin pulls a squirming Yunho against him. Their kiss is heated but heavy on his lips. Worry and anxiety gnaw at him to the point where he can’t even feel an arousal.

  
  
  
  
Yunho pulls away. His boyfriend groans pathetically…head hanging, large ears practically flopping down like a puppy. Without a word, he grabs a towel from the dresser and walks out the room.

  
  
  
  
He sits on the bed and stares down at himself.  _I’ve gotta do something about this soon or I’m going to lose him before I even have him!_

  
  
  
  
\----

  
  
  
  
  
The next day, Yunho asks Changmin if he can go spend the day with him at the company. He’s been spending most of his time cooped up at the apartment or working out at the gym. His boyfriend agrees reluctantly but tells him to stay close.

  
  
  
  
The moment Yunho walks into the building, however, enthusiasm overtakes him. Everything seems so big and new and shiny and Yunho is dying to explore everything! Tons of new people greet him with a smile as he walks by Changmin’s side. And Yunho wants to get to know all of them!

  
  
  
  
When he mentions this to Changmin, the other laughs dryly and says, “Don’t let them fool you. This business is full of sharks.”

  
  
  
  
Yunho pretty much tunes this out.  The moment Changmin is occupied in the recording studio he sneaks off on his own.

  
  
  
  
In just a couple of hours, he introduces himself to at least a dozen people, memorized names and even a couple of birthdays. It’s not creepy. Really. He just cares.

  
  
  
  
And if he happens to have a plan in mind…well then that’s pure coincidence.

  
  
  
  
Yunho finally ends up in large dance studio. A young man is dancing a very sexy dance shirtless.  Yunho stands at the doorway watching, his jaw slacked.  The man is very handsome and he moves like sex. This man must have experience…maybe he can…

  
  
  
  
Suddenly, the music stops and the good-looking man is staring at him with a wide grin.

  
  
  
  
“Hey, there! Who’re you?”

  
  
  
Smiling back, he steps into the room. “My name’s Yunho. Yours?”

  
  
  
  
“Jihoon. But you can call me Rain.”

  
  
  
  
They click right away. He spends the rest of the day hanging out with Rain. The older boy taught him new dance moves and told him amusing stories since his debut, which wasn’t that long ago…Rain is a fairly new artist.

  
  
  
  
At sunset, Rain helps him locate Changmin. His boyfriend is still in the recording studio looking thoroughly pissed off…even more so when he spots Rain standing behind Yunho.

  
  
  
  
Changmin grabs his hand leads him out of the building without a word.

  
  
  
  
\----

  
  
  
  
  
That night, Changmin tries to fondle him through his boxers but Yunho freezes up the moment he feels a hand on his cock.

  
  
  
  
Changmin sighs deeply and turns around to sleep. Yunho wants to scream out _I’m sorry, baby, I’m so sorry! I want you, I do!_  Instead he stays silent and lets tears of frustration fall onto his pillow.

  
  
  
  
\----

  
  
  
  
For the next couple of days, Yunho continues to go to the company with his boyfriend and hang out with Rain, much to Changmin’s irritation. 

  
  
  
  
On one particular day, Changmin had to go to a particular stage to rehearse since he would be opening up for TRAX for his debut stage.  A lot of other artists were there to rehearse too. One of them, to Yunho’s delight, is Rain. This is his chance to proposition the older boy!

  
  
  
  
He plans to ask him right away, but when Changmin goes on stage and starts belting out rock tones and high notes, Yunho stands there mesmerized, forgetting all about Rain.

  
  
  
  
The veins in Changmin’s arms and neck are bulging with each powerful note. Yunho has never felt more attracted to him. He daydreams about those muscular arms around him, holding tightly against a wall as the other thrusts into him. His knees feel like jelly and he sits down on the ground to watch from backstage.

  
  
  
  
Rain sits down beside him and states, “You’re crazy about him.”

  
  
  
  
Yunho forces his eyes away from the delicious sight on-stage to look over at Rain. “Is it that obvious?”

  
  
  
  
“Oh yeah…and he’s crazy about you.”

  
  
  
  
“You think so? Not sure I know how to hang to a guy like that though.”

  
  
  
  
“What do you need to know? Let Dr. Rain counsel you!”

  
  
  
  
Yunho smiles inwardly. _This is exactly what I needed to hear!_

  
  
  
  
“Well, I just don’t have much experience in…seduction…sex, you know? How do I draw him in?”

  
  
  
  
Rain’s eyes flicker over to Changmin. “I think you’ve already drawn him in…”

  
  
  
  
Yunho looks over too and see his boyfriend staring at him with a burning gaze. Swallowing thickly, he clarifies, “I know I have him. But – I just – how – “

  
  
  
  
“How do you keep him interested?”

  
  
  
  
Nodding, he adds, “I just don’t want to be a disappointment.”

  
  
  
  
Rain’s look of understanding assures him and he listens intently for the next hour about a “sure-fire-way”, as his friend calls it, to entice his boyfriend.

  
  
  
  
\----

  
  
  
  
  
When they arrive at their apartment that evening, Changmin confronts him about his private discussion with Rain. Siwon walks in then, stares at them awkwardly then retreats back to his own room.

  
  
  
  
 _Perfect._

  
  
  
  
Yunho summons up all the courage inside him and approaches Changmin very slowly with small grin  
on his face.

  
  
  
  
“We’re finally alone,” Yunho throatily says the practiced line. When he reaches Changmin’s side, he puts an arm around his shoulder, making the other boy lean down a bit. Yunho draws him closer and buries his face in that beautiful long neck. Changmin is startled but laughs a bit as Yunho’s breath tickles him.

  
  
  
  
“What’re you doing, Yun?”

  
  
  
  
Yunho pays him no heed and pushes him down to grope him. Apparently, this doesn’t sit well with his boyfriend because he’s suddenly grabbed by the collar. This makes Yunho run away with Changmin dragging along behind him.

  
  
  
  
“What did you think you were doing?” Changmin asks a bit out of breath after they reach the bedroom. “Sorry I reacted like that. I don’t like being manhandled…”

  
  
  
  
Yunho falls face down on the bed and prays for lightening to strike him down. _Jung, you are forever a loser!_

  
  
  
  
\----

  
  
  
  
The following day, Yunho corners Rain and throws a mini-fit as Changmin is preoccupied with dress rehearsal.

  
  
  
  
“It didn’t work! I failed - I failed miserably! He hated it, hated it! He pushed me away, pushed me away! I don’t know I probably did it wrong he didn’t respond at all like you said! I think I just need to gain sexual confidence can you teach me?”

  
  
  
  
Rain appears confused by the rush of words. There’s about a ten second delay before the older boy comprehends what Yunho is asking of him.

  
  
  
  
“No,” Rain says firmly. “I can’t do that, Yunho. I’m pretty sure that Changmin would cut my balls off.”

  
  
  
  
“He doesn’t have to know! Rain, I’m desperate. I’m going to lose him if I don’t deal with this problem!”

  
  
  
  
“Why don’t you just tell him the truth?”

  
  
  
  
With a look of anguish, Yunho mumbles, “I don’t think a virgin will be very attractive to him. He’s used to going out with experienced girls.”

  
  
  
  
Rain’s mouth makes an ‘o’ shape. “You’re a virgin? Oh wow.”

  
  
  
  
Yunho cheeks redden.

  
  
  
  
“Well, then I’m definitely not going to do anything with you.”

  
  
  
  
“Huh?”

  
  
  
Rain just chuckles. “Just tell him the truth.”

  
  
  
  
“I can’t do that!”

  
  
  
  
“Well then you’re making it harder on both of you,” Rain cautions him. “Listen, I got to go for now. Let me know how it goes!”

  
  
  
  
The older boy gives him a warm hug before exiting the dressing room. Changmin comes out from one of the closets with a blonde female coordinator. For a split second, Yunho is afraid that the younger man might have heard, but his expression is indiscernible.

  
  
  
  
They climb into bed that night and Changmin doesn’t try to initiate anything. For some reason, this bothers Yunho even more.

  
  



	3. Only You: The Conclusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yunho wants Changmin but lets his insecurities mislead him...can Changmin fix this?

[ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/xxfergiexx/pic/0008k7f9/) [ ](http://pics.livejournal.com/xxfergiexx/pic/0008pbet/)

 

 

 

Previously:  _They climb into bed that night and Changmin doesn’t try to initiate anything. For some reason, this bothers Yunho even more._  
  
  
  
  
  
  
He finds himself in the dance studio alone the next day. Rain has a concert at a different location to prepare for.

  
  
  
Yunho stands in the middle of the floor and stares at his reflection in the wide mirror-wall. He discerns that he’s lost some weight, which would be good if not for his pronounced chest, giving the illusion he has female breasts. Yunho resigns himself to the fact that they will never deflate.  _They are doomed to jiggle for all eternity_ , he sulks.

  
  
  
  
“Jung Yunho?” A hoarse voice interrupts his thoughts.

  
  
  
  
He’s stunned when he turns around to see who it is.

  
  
  
“K-Kim Jaejoong?”

  
  
  
  
Jaejoong approaches and embraces him. “It’s been forever! What’re you doing here?”

  
  
  
  
They sit on the dance floor together and begin conversing about their life. Giving each other a brief summary of what has been happening to them.

  
  
  
  
“I can’t believe you’re a singer now, Jae!”

  
  
  
  
  
Jaejoong laughs and says, “Yeah. I’m mostly recording ballets for dramas right now. Hopefully later…”

  
  
  
  
“Yeah, absolutely! I wish you luck!”

  
  
  
  
“Thanks.”

  
  
  
  
They get quiet for a bit as some trainees walk into the room. Jaejoong leans over and whispers, “Are you going out with anyone?”

  
  
  
  
Before he can answer, another voice calls out his name. It’s Changmin! Yunho gets excited to see him and stands up as he approaches.

  
  
  
  
“You done, baby?”

  
  
  
  
“Baby?” Jaejoong mutters.

  
  
  
  
With no preamble, Changmin states, “I need a personal assistant. I get to hire my own. I want you to be mine, Yunho.”

  
  
  
  
“You want me to be your personal assistant?”

  
  
  
  
“Yeah, what’s wrong with that? You come with me every day anyway.”

  
  
  
  
It seems Changmin is completely ignoring Jaejoong’s existence until Jaejoong greets him. His boyfriend turns his attention to the pretty boy and simply nods, then turns to Yunho.

  
  
  
  
“So, what do you say?”

  
  
  
  
The thought of getting a job that attaches him to his Changminnie sounds like a wonderful dream to Yunho so he agrees enthusiastically.

  
  
  
\----

  
  
  
  
  
Yunho spends the rest of the day assisting Changmin. Anything his boyfriend wants, he gets; a water bottle, a backrub, and instant ramen are a few of the things Changmin asks of him. Yunho feels a bit exploited actually. But when Changmin sets those large, brown eyes on him, he can deny the other boy nothing.

  
  
  
  
Changmin eventually makes his debut stage and Yunho couldn’t be more proud. The performance and audience response is explosive that day. As the crowd cheers for an encore, he can see a shy, yet satisfied smile form on Changmin’s face…this makes the crowd scream louder.

  
  
  
  
An unofficial fan club is created afterwards by a swarm of fan girls pleading for a glance from the new rock prince…and much to Yunho’s dismay, the crazy girls also threw in constant sexual favors.

  
  
  
  
 _Great. Now it’s not just the past girls I have to compete with!_  Yunho thinks mournfully as he stands in the background while Changmin signs autographs for the screaming fan girls waiting outside the restaurant they had just left.  

  
  
  
  
  
The worst part of it is Changmin hasn’t tried to touch him in weeks.

  
  
  
 _Desperate times calls for desperate measure_ , he declares resolutely.  _If Rain won’t help me, then it’s time to proposition Jaejoong._

  
  
  
  
\----

  
  
  
  
  
When Yunho tells Jaejoong he’s a virigin, the older boy smirks and doesn’t seem all that surprised.

  
  
  
  
“So you want me to rectify the situation, eh?”

  
  
  
  
That confuses him. “Huh?”

  
  
  
  
“You want me to deflower you?”

  
  
  
  
Yunho shakes his fanatically.  “No! I just need you to teach me some basic skills in sex! Things that would satisfy a man like Changmin. A long time ago, you helped discover I was gay…I just thought you could do me another favor.”

  
  
  
  
Jaejoong sighs impatiently. “Fine. Let’s go to the locker room.”

  
  
  
  
“Now?”

  
  
  
  
“Why not?” Jaejoong smirks. “Changmin’s busy all day.”

  
  
  
  
\----

  
  
  
  
  
The moment they enter the locker room, Jaejoong pulls Yunho against him and whispers, “Do you feel that?”

  
  
  
Hardness is pressing against him. It scares him. He’s not sure what to do but he’s pretty sure  
Jaejoong is going about this lesson all wrong. He pushes the older boy away and stumbles back.

  
  
  
  
“Why are you running away? You asked for this, Yun! You don’t want to disappoint Changmin, do you?”

  
  
  
  
Yunho is grabbed and slammed into the lockers.  It hurts. He wants to hit Jaejoong, but those words quiet him. No, he doesn’t want to disappoint Changmin. What if Changmin likes it rough? Is going to run away from him too?

  
  
  
  
He closes his eyes and lets Jaejoong touch him. His shirts comes open. Nipples are played with, crotch is squeezed.

  
  
  
  
“You’re so delectable,” Jaejoong says as he bites Yunho’s bottom lip. “I’ve always wanted you, and now I’m finally gonna have you.”

  
  
  
  
Yunho mumbles unintelligently, keeping his eyes tightly closed.  _It’ll be over soon. It’ll be over soon._

  
  
  
All of a sudden, the molesting stops. Yunho exhales in relief. Opening his eyes, he sees Jaejoong on  
the ground holding his nose in agony and Changmin standing over him with clenched fists. After a few seconds of cussing insults with Jaejoong, his boyfriends walks over to him and touches his swollen bottom lip.

  
  
  
  
The rage in Changmin’s eyes makes Yunho ill.  _Oh I’m in for it…gonna lose him for sure now._

  
  
  
  
 ----

  
  
  
  
The moment they walk into the apartment Changmin orders while gritting his teeth, “Bedroom. Now.”

  
  
  
  
Yunho didn’t like that tone so he folds his arms together and raises his chin in defiance. Changmin’s gaze is burning a hole through his face but he stands his ground.  Siwon walks through the front door, takes one look at their stance and backs out. Then a second later, he peaks back in to say, “Yunho, if he’s an asshole to you, come back to me, I can –“

  
  
  
  
“Shut up, Siwon,” says Changmin, with barely restrained anger closes the door in the other man’s face.

  
  
  
Changmin walks forward and steers Yunho backwards to the bedroom.  The look in those sharp eyes  
intimidates him. He climbs onto the bed and flattens himself against the headboard, even though Changmin remains standing at the end of the bed.

  
  
  
  
His boyfriend considers him for a second then settles down onto the chair next to the study desk.

  
  
  
  
“I’m gonna need you to strip naked.”

  
  
  
  
Yunho flattens himself even further. “What – No. That’s ridiculous, Changmin. Let’s just talk about this rationally.”

  
  
  
  
“Less talking, more sex. Now.  _Strip_  or I’ll go over there and tear your clothes off.”

  
  
  
  
Yunho really couldn’t see a way out of this. So he hesitantly lifts his t-shirt over his head and throws it off to the side. In order to feel braver, he closes his eyes as he takes off his jeans.

  
  
  
  
“Take your boxers off.”

  
  
  
Hesitating again, he sits down on the bed to pull them off. Folding his legs side-ways, Yunho tries to  
cover as much of himself as he can.

  
  
  
  
“Ah, ah, ah,” Changmin mocks. “That won’t do. Lie on your back and spread your legs. Actually, turn horizontally so I can see the entire length of your body.”

  
  
  
  
Yunho still has his eyes closed as he follows instructions…it’s the only way he’s going to get through this. If he looks at Changmin, he might crumble.

  
  
  
  
His boyfriend’s voice becomes low and husky. He lets that voice guide him.

  
  
  
  
“Now touch yourself. Run your hands all over your body then grab your cock. That’s it…now stroke it. Let it lengthen and beg for attention.”

  
  
  
  
In a matter of minutes, he is more turned on than he’s ever been in his life. He never thinks of himself as an exhibitionist. But that voice and the fact that he’s being watched both leave a dangerous spark in the air that gets the adrenaline driving in his veins. He ends up spreading his legs even more as the hand on his cock speeds up.

  
  
  
  
“Suck on a couple of your fingers…wet them nicely.”

  
  
  
  
Yunho sucks on three of his fingers like candy as he continues pumping his cock with another hand.

  
  
  
  
“Good, good. Now, let go of your cock.”

  
  
  
  
Yunho groans despairingly. “I can’t, I need to –“

  
  
  
  
“Did I tell you to cum? Didn’t think so. Let.Go.Of.Your.Cock.”

  
  
  
  
He does so unwillingly.

  
  
  
  
“I want you to play with your hole. Wet it with your saliva.”

  
  
  
 _Oh God…it feels so good._  He bites his lip to keep from moaning. With his another hand, he spreads a  
cheek out.

  
  
  
  
“Fuck yourself with your fingers. Feel around - get to know your body on the inside. Fuck yourself hard. Fuck yourself like you want my dick fucking you.”

  
  
  
  
Those instructions make his cock bleed pre-cum. He cries out in pain as he forces a finger inside himself.

  
  
  
  
A cold tube hits him on the arm. “Use the lube.”

  
  
  
  
It’s so much better after he uses it…even slips in two fingers. Imagining they are Changmin’s cock, a third finger easily slips in too. He holds on to his balls as he fucks himself at a faster pace.  His fingers are reaching so deep inside they end up brushing something that causes him to catch his breath and whine.

  
  
  
“Find that spot again. Rub against it.”

  
  
  
Yunho is moving wildly on the bed. He’s so sexually charged it doesn’t matter to him how slutty he’s being. He wants to cum…wants to cum so badly!

  
  
  
  
“Think of me between your legs…thrusting in and out so hard, filling you up, cumming inside you.”

  
  
  
  
“Min, please! PLEASE!”

  
  
  
  
After a couple more seconds of agony, Changmin orders him to play with his cock at the same time. The combination of both sensations makes him pant like a marathon runner. Then he hears it…

  
  
  
  
“Cum.”

  
  
  
  
Yunho opens his eyes and stares at Changmin, whose own cock is out and pointing straight at him as it is stroked leisurely. Well, the image makes Yunho lose it completely. A twig in his groin snaps and a powerful orgasm hit him like a tidal wave.

  
  
  
  
He withdraws his fingers and lays spread eagle on the bed, panting harshly. Changmin comes over and hovers above him. Yunho dimly looks up and asks, “Are you going to fuck me now?”

  
  
  
  
“No,” Changmin says assertively. “I think that’s enough playing for today. Tomorrow is phase two.”

  
  
  
  
Confusion infiltrates his already mawkish head. “Phase two? What was phase one?”

  
  
  
  
“Phase one is getting you in touch with your body. One has to learn what pleasures their own body before letting others do it.”

  
  
  
  
It sounds like he’s in class listening to a professor…a sex professor in this case.

  
  
  
  
Weary of the answer, Yunho asks, “What’s phase two then?”

  
  
  
  
“You’ll see tomorrow. Rest now.” And his boyfriend places a kiss on his cheek and exits the room.

  
  
  
  
\----

  
  
  
  
  
He exhales as he hands Changmin a water bottle and a towel after rehearsal. Changmin takes the bottle but not the towel. He gestures towards his body…requesting Yunho dry him.

  
  
  
  
Yunho looks around and notices a couple of people watching their every move, as they always do for some reason. Ignoring them, he lifts the towel to Changmin’s handsome face and wipes the sweat off reverently.

  
  
  
  
Then he lets the towel slide down the sweaty boy’s neck and arms. The muscular body doesn’t glisten with sweat anymore but it’s flushed red…Yunho’s mouth waters. He wants to strip Changmin of his clothes and trace the paths made by the towel with his tongue instead.

  
  
  
  
“Let’s go home,” Changmin whispers.

  
  
  
  
\----

  
  
  
  
  
Yunho spreads himself on top of the bed as Changmin walks in the room with a towel around the waist, hair dripping wet.

  
  
  
  
Sitting up on his elbows, he begs, “Min. Please. I need you.”

  
  
  
  
Changmin is having a tenting issue underneath the towel, obviously hard and ready. But the taller boy doesn’t move.

  
  
  
  
“Close your legs and come here.”

  
  
  
  
Yunho miserably stands up and walks over, naked and needy.

  
  
  
  
“Take off my towel and explore my body. Do whatever you want to it. I will not touch you.”

  
  
  
  
His body zaps with anticipation. Yesterday was about his body, today seems to be about his boyfriend’s.

  
  
  
  
Yunho runs his eyes down Changmin’s sculpted chest and follows the light happy trial of hair until it disappears behind the towel. His hand goes to the knot and unfolds the towel to feast his eyes on the beautiful manhood it is hiding.

  
  
  
  
Changmin’s cock is long and finely nestled in dark hair – Yunho’s mouth waters again…he wants a taste.

  
  
  
  
“Do what you want,” his boyfriend says edgily.

  
  
  
  
On cue, Yunho presses their bodies together, their cocks touching, and licks down Changmin’s neck…then mouths at the biceps. He makes his way to the golden chest. And what a glorious chest it is…nothing like his own squishy one. Changmin’s chest is sculpted perfection. He licks at the brown nipples and leads a wet trail down to the navel.

  
  
  
Yunho sinks to his knees in order to lick down the long length. It delights him when the cock jumps.  
He grasps it with one hand and taps his tongue on the head. Sticky liquid oozes out of it and Yunho takes a hesitant lick at it.  _Mmmmmm a bit salty but I like it!_

  
  
  
  
He rests his other hand on Changmin’s hip to gain more leverage, then wraps his mouth around the  
head of the cock. Changmin’s body jerks underneath his hand, but, other than that, remains deathly still.

  
  
  
  
Treating it like a chocolate bar, while mindful of his teeth, Yunho begins sucking. More pre-cum fills his mouth. This only makes him suck harder.

  
  
  
  
Above him, Changmin is gasping but does not touch him. Yunho uses his hand to stroke the length as he laps at the crown with his tongue. His full lips are creating a very strong suction. Changmin hisses his name.  When Yunho’s fingers flit over to fondle the aroused boy’s balls, a sudden burst of liquid fills his mouth.

  
  
  
  
He frantically tries to swallow it all but some cum dribbles out of his mouth. He lets the softening dick go with a pop and uses his fingers to sip up the rest of the escaping cum. 

  
  
  
Changmin’s breath is shallow and quick. He reaches down to thread his large hand through Yunho’s  
straight black hair. Yunho looks up with wide eyes and says, “I love you.”

  
  
  
  
“My little virgin is so talented,” Changmin pants then leans down for an open-mouthed kiss.

  
  
  
  
It’s only later as he’s in the shower jerking himself off that Yunho realizes Changmin knows he’s virgin! Yunho came hard hoping phase three involves the hot boy fucking him.

  
  
  
  
\---

  
  
  
  
  
Siwon had moved out a day or two after that evening with only one sentence for Yunho: “When Changmin leaves you, just call me. I’ll be there for you.”

  
  
  
  
This sets his heart pounding worriedly because Changmin has yet to say ‘I love you’ to him.

  
  
  
  
Phase three is unfortunately put on hold. Changmin gets busy with photoshoots and performing at every music show in Korea that he falls asleep as soon as they come home.

  
  
  
  
Then a complication rises when the drummer for the live shows quits. It puts Changmin and his manager on edge and the search for a new drummer begins. And Yunho is put on edge because he wants to get fucked by his distracted boyfriend so badly. He’s in a perpetual state of throbbing for about five days…he’s pretty sure that isn’t healthy for his body.

  
  
  
  
It doesn’t help that Changmin teases him every chance he gets. Like kissing him on the cheek or keeping a constant hand around his waist during the stagnant moments in the studio or rehearsals.

  
  
  
  
A week passes and a new drummer is hired. Yunho is standing behind Changmin giving him a back rub while contemplating ways he can dry hump the other boy without anyone noticing, when a booming cry echoes off the empty auditorium walls.

  
  
  
  
“YUUUUUUUNHOOOOOOO!”

  
  
  
  
His balls jump back into his body at the startling shout. He turns and low and behold, it’s Kim Heechul! A boy he hasn’t seen since leaving high school!

  
  
  
  
Yunho doesn’t have time to react when Heechul tackles him to the ground, kissing his face as eagerly as a puppy.

  
  
  
  
“I missed you, I missed you, I missed you! Where have you been, Yundol?! Why didn’t you ever look me up?!”

  
  
  
  
Near suffocation, Yunho pushes Heechul off him with a chuckle. “I’m sorry! Things just got crazy. How have you been?”

  
  
  
  
Waving a hand, Heechul continues to shout, “Never mind me! What about you, working as “Choikang” Changmin’s assistant! You two were best friends in high school, I can’t believe it!”

  
  
  
  
Trying to quiet his old friend, Yunho says in a hushed voice, “I’m a little bit more than his assistant.”

  
  
  
  
Heechul freezes and looks around, first noting Changmin’s thunderous expression and the staff’s fearful faces. The manager leans over to Heechul and says, “You don’t touch Yunho like that…not unless you want to die.”

  
  
  
  
Watching Changmin cautiously, Heechul mutters to him, “So. The rumors are true.”

  
  
  
  
Yunho closes his eyes in embarrassment. His arm is being abruptly pulled and he hears Changmin shout over his shoulder that they’ll be gone for a few hours.

  
  
  
  
Changmin takes him to the locker rooms, makes sure no one is in there then locks all the doors. Seeing the look in his boyfriend’s eyes, he immediately strips naked. He is grabbed and lifted up slightly. Yunho wraps his legs around Changmin’s hips. He’s never been happier to have lost so much weight in the past few months.

  
  
  
  
“I can’t stand it anymore,” the young man carrying him to the nearest bench says frenziedly.

  
  
  
  
Yunho leans back on the bench and parts his legs. “Is this phase three now?”

  
  
  
  
Changmin stares down at him, a peculiar shyness in his features. “I’ve only ever done this with girls. I mean I did a lot research. But…this is your first time. I don’t want it to be anticlimatic…I don’t want to disappoint you.”

  
  
  
  
It’s like hearing his own insecurities thrown back at him. “You can never disappoint. It’s me who will never measure up.”

“Shut up,” Changmin sighs. “Just shut up. You’re perfect. I’ve had to watch you struggle with your ridiculous plan to gain experience for weeks on end. Enough now. You should have come to ME. Look at you all spread out and ready for me. I did that! I helped you gain that confidence. You don’t go to other fucking guys! Especially not that asshole Kim!”

  
  
  
“Heechul didn’t do anything.”

  
  
  
“I’m not talking about Heechul! I’m talking about Jaejoong…who could have hurt you if I didn’t watch  
you so carefully!”

  
  
  
  
Yunho opens his mouth to speak but wide, soft lips shut him up.

  
  
  
“You’re MY virgin. I didn’t get your first kiss, but I refuse not to be the one to take your innocence.”

  
  
  
  
Changmin flips him over and spreads Yunho’s cheeks to analyze his new territory. “I’ve never liked to share you, even when we were kids.  _This_  is mine now.”  Changmin leans over and bites the cleft of his ass.

  
  
  
  
Yunho moans loudly. Changmin proceeds to do things with his tongue that make Yunho glad he’s been shaving religiously in hopes to be pleasure like this. His entrance is being licked and probed with that sharp tongue. Yunho grind his cock against the bench.

  
  
  
  
When the tongue stops, he cries out, “Min, take me! Fuck me, please!”

  
  
  
  
“You pushed me away so many times before.”

  
  
  
  
“I know! I’m sorry! I said I’d show you how to love then I kept pushing you away. I was – stupid.”

  
  
  
  
Changmin wordlessly licks up the curve of Yunho’s back. He feels hardness nudge his hole.  _Oh God yes, finally!_

  
  
  
  
Then it stops. He groans, “Changmin!”

  
  
  
  
  
But the other boy leaves him to lay down further up the wide bench with his manhood proudly standing up.

  
  
  
  
“Come fuck yourself on my dick.”

  
  
  
  
Yunho’s hole twitches at the command. He catwalks on his knees towards the other and straddles those sexy narrow hips.  Changmin helps guide the long, hard cock inside him slowly. Every barrier it passes is painful. Yunho bites his fist to keep from screaming. When his boyfriend looks like he wants to stop, he forcibly sits down on the cock. It’s buried all the way inside him now. This time he really does scream.

  
Changmin pulls him down to nibble on his neck. Yunho doesn’t move for a few minutes in order to adjust. Changmin’s mouth travels down to a nipple, biting and sucking it…acting like a string urging him to move.

  
  
  
  
He rises and falls, fighting through the harsh sting. Lifting up with two hands on Changmin’s chest, Yunho rocks his hips, keeping the cock buried to the hilt.

  
  
  
  
“You – you feels amazing,” Changmin whimpers softly. “Never – Never felt anything like this.”

  
  
  
  
Yunho gains more confidence as he’s stretched more and the pain eases. Hands come up to hold his waist as he gains speed.

  
  
  
  
“Baby, face the other way. I wanna see my dick moving inside you.”

  
  
  
  
He obeys. He’s desperate to find release. Now Yunho holds on to mile long legs as his ass cheeks are gripped and stretched more and more by resilient hands. The new angle causes them to find the magical spot that makes Yunho go flying.

  
  
  
  
“Shit, Yun! If only you could see your tight hole eating my cock!”

  
  
  
  
Yunho lets out dry sobs and fucks harder while Changmin supports his hips to move faster.

  
  
  
  
“Ah! Oh! Oh! Give it to me, Min, give it to me!”

  
  
  
  
He feels Changmin moving up and out of him. Yunho begins cussing him out profusely.

  
  
  
  
His boyfriend chuckles breathless as he reverses their positions, “Oh I’m not a mother-fucker…but I’m definitely a Yunho-fucker.”

  
  
  
  
“Well, then fuck me!”

  
  
  
  
He’s probably foaming at the mouth but he doesn’t care. If he doesn’t get that cock inside him again he’ll -   

  
  
  
  
Yunho shrieks as he’s penetrated again.

  
  
  
  
Changmin wraps Yunho’s thick, gorgeous thighs around himself and ruts into him like animal.

  
  
  
  
“I’m your first, I’m your last. Forever!”

  
  
  
  
“Forever, Min! Always yours!”

  
  
  
Yunho’s world tilts and crashes down on him, the young man on top of him howls. They both cum,  
crying out each other’s name. Changmin, dripping in sweat, buries his face deep in Yunho’s neck and mumbles stupidly – some of the words sounding like “I love you”.  

  
  
  
  
Cradling the other boy in his arms, Yunho whispers, “I love you too.”

  
  
  
  
Changmin lifts his head and smiles down at him. “Is this how you want me to love you?”

  
  
  
  
“Every day. Until we die.”

  
  
  
  
Kissing him on the nose, Changmin wonders, “You know I might be travelling a lot soon. Will you – will you want to stay…with me?”

  
  
  
  
Yunho cups the other’s gorgeous face and states firmly, “Where you go, I go. I’m not leaving you like in high school. Never again. I don’t wanna lose any more time with you. I just hope…you never get tired of  _me_.” 

  
  
  
  
Changmin scowls. “Didn’t I tell you to shut up about that? You’re perfect and I want you forever. I always have!”

  
  
  
  
Like ice on summer’s day, he melts. “Oh Minnie.”

  
  
  
“Shut up.” But the other boy smiles and leans down to kiss him.

There’s a knock on the door that alarms both of them. “YUUUUUNHOOOOOO!”

  
  
  
  
It’s Heechul. Yunho rolls his eyes and shouts back. “Hey!”

  
  
  
  
“Are you alive?! Cause it sounded like you were being murdered in there!”

  
  
  
  
Yunho feels his face heat up. Changmin laughs loudly.

  
  
  
  
“Anyways, glad you survived. Are you still a virgin, Yundol? Cause apparently people here all placed bets on when it would happen. I think his manager just lost 5000 wons to that new pop star, Rain, who was betting you two would do it sometime this week! ”

  
  
  
  
“Oh my God!” Yunho has never been more embarrassed in his whole life!

  
  
  
  
Changmin continues to laugh as he answers Heechul, “Virgin? What virgin? There’s no virgin in here.”

  
  
  
  
Heechul starts laughing hysterically behind the door.

  
  
  
“Oh my God! Stop it!” Yunho rolls out from under Changmin to hide his face. They hear Heechul  
reminding them to wash up and that he’ll see them later.

  
  
  
  
He feels a low whisper to his right ear. “Finally, we are alone…Yunho-yah, what do you think of me?”

  
  
  
  
“Oh my God! Please!”

  
  
  
  
“Please what? I already pleased you.”

  
  
  
  
“No! UGH!” Yunho stands up but is stopped. Changmin presses his naked body against him.

  
  
  
  
“How about a quicky in the shower,  _Yundol_?”

  
  
  
Yunho pulls away and runs to a shower stall, giggling. Changmin traps him against the wall and lets the hot water stream over them.

 

“Still wanna be a whore for me, eh?” Yunho teases.

 

Lacing his fingers with him, Changmin tenderly answers, “Only you.”

 


End file.
